Main aisa kyun hoon-II

Haadsa 2 continued..

phir bhi i was cool ki il get down at d next station.. its just a minor hiccup and i can deal wd it.. i told one f d guys in d train bout my problem..you know I really hate people who stare at u for no reason or try to interfere while u r talkn 2 someone else..But, as I was having such a terrific day, not one but two or three guys started at once..
one of dem-“kahaan utarna tha”
me-“woh....jhinkpani pe utarna tha..pata nahi chala kab aaya station”
Another one-“arre seedhe seedhe bolo na sote reh gaye”
and 1 more-“ek toh laparwahi karoge, upar se bahane banaoge”

lots of people, at different points of time, have tried to define “satisfaction” ..That point of time, shouting at those jerks at the top of my voice would have come very close to the perfect definition.. but, I was the one in need of help.. so, I had to keep my mouth shut.. that guy, whom I had initially told my problem said i wont get any bus at dis time..better I get down at d next to next station..i might get a “maalgaadi” from der for chaibasa..(maalgaadi!!ab yahi hona bacha tha mere saath??) he said he’l talk to the station master..he knows him..

i was really confused..
“shud I trust dis guy??” “how can he know d station master??”
“all the people on this train have been total as****es, how can he be any different??”
“may be I shud get down at noamundi and stay in a hotel 4 d nit..and take dis same train back tomorrow”
“but wat about papa nd mom??haven’t been able 2 call dem..( rather haven’t had d guts to tell dem about my latest exploits).. dey would be worried”

I hadn’t really arrived at any decision wen d train suddenly came to a stop..i lookd up at d guy..he was getn down..
The guy-“chalo, aa gaya station”
Me-“kaun sa station hai”
“benposh”
I dint say a word.. got down and followed d guy..

tabhi, my friend rupesh calls..
"abe kahaan hai tu??"
"tujhe pata hai tere papa kitne pareshan ho rahe"
me-"'yaar aage nikal gaya yaar..jhinkpani station pe nahi utar paya"
(he wud have been shocked 2 hear dat 4 sure..on second thoughts, may b he wasn’t..he knows me too well.. these kinda things are expected out f me)
"abe ghar phone toh kar de"
"yaar, nahi lag raha hai"
"chal thik hai..ghar pahunch ke msg kar dena mujhe"

Meanwhile, the guy did take me to the station master only.. and talked to him on my behalf..
station master to me -" jhinkpani station pe pahunch ke ghar kaise jaoge ?"
me(just see how not to talk wen we u need help from someone)-"arre, woh papa aa jaenge lene..woh problem nahi hai"
the station master (looking at me long and hard)-"thik hai.ek maalgaadi ja rahi hai us side usme peeche cabin mein baith jana"

so, i get in2 d cabin of d train..was all alone der ..us bande (rather alla ke bande ) ko thanx bola..
tabhi he says-" kitna padhe ho ji?"
me-"sir engineering kar raha hun"
"aur yeh bhi nahi pata hai ki jab kisi se kaam ho toh kaise baat karte hain?"
(couldn’t argue dat..PR kharab hai mera.. )
sorry bola unko and he left..

maalgaadi chalna shuru hui.. and tabhi aaya papa ka call..
papa(in a very angry mood)-"kahaan ho tum??"
(hold ur breath papa..aaya bouncer)
me-"papa bendposh mein"
papa(in shock)-"bendposh?? wahan kya kar rahe ho??"
"woh so gaya tha, nahi utar paya jhinkpani pe"
(as expected) "wah..mere sher"
"ab kya karoge??"
me(acting as if everything was under control..had 2 prove it 2 him dat if i get myself in2 trouble i sure can get out of it) "woh ek maalgaadi aa rahi hai us side..usse aa raha hoon"
(got no reaction..may be was expectn a bit 2 much..)

so, finally, i reached jhinkpani station at 12 in d nit instead f d 9.30 in normal scenario..ironically, is baar bilkul neend nahi aayi raaste mein..i thought chalo finally d ordeal is over for me..train station pe aayi..i got ready to get down.. but, to my amazement d train didn't stop.. it slowed but dint stop.. tabhi aage engine room se driver or someone flashed his torch and said something.. i didn’t get wat he said..

all I knew, ab nahi kooda toh chaibasa pahunch jaaoonga fir.. (suddenly images of my friend Jai came to my mind.. train slowing down at the dhanbad station..i am about to jump off the train..no..i can't do it..so,jai steps up..jumps out of d train on d platform..falls awkwardly..injures his knee..and all this just to avoid getting ragged by our seniors on the same train) This time i had to do it..had no other option..so, pehle saamaan fenka on d tracks and den jumped myself.. landed on my knees..luckily, no damage done..jaise hi apna baggage leke utha, saamne papa aate dikhe..ab toh i was sure ki jo peechle kai saalon mein nahi hua, aaj hoga..papa ka thappad..

papa-"chalo”
“kitna fajiyat ho gaya thodi si laparwahi ke kaaran"..
dat's all dat he said..and i can't tell u how relieved i was at his reaction.
we reachd home..mom was waiting at d door..dekha mujhe and gave dat "tumne toh meri jaan hi nikal di thi" wala look..as for my siblings, gher liya mujhe gate pe hi and started- " bhaiya bata na kaisa experience tha..kahaan tak chala gaya tha..kaise waapas aaya..papa ne kya bola??bla bla bla..(seems no one amongst us knows wen 2 talk and wat to talk) As for me, i knew i got myself in2 a soup but i was happy dat i got myself out of it..

Next day..
mom to papa -" suniye ji iske liye koi dawai le aaeyega, neend bahut aata hai isko"

Main aisa kyun hoon..

I really wanted to avoid writing on this topic coz dat wud bring d facet of my personality dat i really dont admire but still cant do much to change it( tho i have tried..seriously )..

Well. let me try recollecting how it( it?? m sure u'l realise wat 'it' is after reading the post) all began..

HAADSA 1

I gues it was fourth or fifth semester..papa came 2 see me off at the bus stand as i was going back to college..
papa-" sab kuch le liya hai na..kuch bhoola toh nahi??"
a confident me-" naah, sab le liya hai"
"thik hai pahunch kar phone karna"
"thik hai"

so, i board d bus..
(15 minutes later)
a panicky me- "papa"
papa( surprised)-"kya hua??"
"Bus se utar gaya mai"
(papa's expression in the transit state between surprise and anger)
"kyun"???
(i really dint know how to tell him..so a long pause)
"woh... draft bhool gaya ghar pe"
(by dis time i had resigned to the fury dat was coming on to me..papa's anger)
"waah..mere sher.."
"kahaan ho abhi??"
" jodapokhar se dus minute aage"
(i catch my bus for ranchi from jodapokhar)

(10 minutes later..papa arrives, definitely gusse se dekha hoga unhone mujhe, but i dint know..dint look him in the eyes)..
An angry papa trying to act cool-"baitho"
so scooter pe baitha..papa got me home..
mom(surprised to see me)-"kya hua??"
embarassed me-"kuch nahi, woh draft bhool gaya"
"hey ram"
"aur woh amulya ka draft??"
( amulya is my senior at college and my colony mate ..his mom had given me his demand draft 2 b given to him at college..during the ride back home with papa, i was literally praying dat mom doesn't ask bout his draft..but honi ko kaun taal sakta hai??)
me(further embarassed)- "woh liya tha maine"
papa(still angry and definitely not amused by my guts to tell mom dat i remembered 2 carry someone else's things but not mine)-"waah..bahut acche"

i really was in no positon to say anything..draft liya nd papa again dropped me at the bus stand..( and dis time no" kuch bhool toh nahi gaye" wala dialogue)


HAADSA 2

I was returning by train from jamshedpur after lots of shopping for clothes..needed some formals for my trainng at samtel..the train reached chaibasa..jhinkpani(where i stay) is 30 mins by train from chaibasa..so, i thot il take a quik nap..i wake up after some time( i still think i dozed 4 not more dan 5 mins)..dekha apne ACC ka factory dikh raha hai..so, i was cool ki do minute mein il b at d jhinkpani station..but, tabhi i get dis sudden chill running down my spine..factory paas dikhta hai as we approach d station..but, abhi d factory was receding from me and the train dint seem to stop..tabhi, d realisation came 2 me
( neend toh toot gayi but my nightmare was about to start)..

to be continued..

MAKING SENSE OF MY DREAMS

A few days back i had this weird dream (ofcourse every dream is weird). Since, it is said that there's some definite relation between dreams and reality, i thought let me see if i could do a little sigmund freud myself..

The dream goes something like this..
Me and my brother are on a train to Lucknow..We reach there and buy some meat(uncooked) for 120 bucks..But, then we decide that we dont wanna have it. So, we are roaming around the markets trying to sell it. We finally sell d meat for 80 bucks( i am pretty upset about it coz i wanted atleast a 100 bucks). The next thing i know i am on a bus to Awadh which is a half an hour drive from Lucknow.. I am going there to meet a friend of mine( that friend actully studies at NIT allahabad, this i realised after waking up).. And i have no idea wen n where does my brother disappear from the dream... So, that's my dream..Perfectly illogical, discontinuous,weird and nonsensical...

Now, this is how i tried to relate the dream with my rael life..

Some days back, one of my classmates was telling me how he lied to his parents just to go to lucknow to meet his girlfriend. And, i really love romantic stuff like this.. so, dat's how i get lucknow in my dreams..

i had gone with my youngest bro to the movie salaam-e-ishq recently..so,now he goes to lucknow with me..

Rest all events of my dream seem pretty vague to me..Since, you never remember the whole of the dream plus the fact that i hardly remember anything, i would try justifying the story cooking up some fictitious situations of my own..

So, why would i buy meat?? i hardly eat meat outside home..May be, i didn't have had meat for a long time, and i was so desparate to have meat that i decided i will buy some and then cook it myself..( which i haven't done before)..

Then, why do i decide to resell it?? dat's simple..the lazy guy dat i am, i wont take so much troubles for anything..

the bargain part seems ok...meat worth 120 for 80( atleast 80 is better dan havn to throw 120 bucks down the drain)..and i think i got my dream rates pretty close to the real ones..

how come lucknow and Awadh be only half an hour apart?? Well, i am so lazy dat i wont have bothered to travel to Awadh if it was even an hour away( not even in my dreams)..
by the way, i got it on the wikipedia that lucknow was actually the capital of awadh before independence.. my knowledge of history is so better in the dreams..

Den, how is it that i made such a long journey to lucknow in the first place?? Dat would be coz, i really love travelling in trains and the hustle bustle at the stations.plus,i did plenty of travelling in my winter vacations..

And, how does dat friend come in the picture??? i am addicted to the internet real bad..so, i am online all the time...and so is dis friend of mine..but, i never chat with him..this winters when i went to allahabad, i could have met him there, but i didn't try...i do feel some guilt for being so indiffernt to him..so, i was trying to do something in the dream which i should be doing in reality...

But, why do i go to Awadh to meet him, when the only time i would have heard about Awadh would have been in my history books( would have read bout the Nawab of awadh, i guess) and that too would have been a passing reference...That's the part i couldn't figure out..

As for when and where does my brother disappear??
that i am hoping to find out in the sequel dream :)

why shud i blog????

Have been thinking of writing a blog 4 sometime now…I read about blogging first time in a newspaper….the same day I had an interview for my summer training…At d interview, dey askd me my hobbies….nd guess what all I said….
Me- ‘sir, playing cricket, sudoku, music,and…BLOGGING’
(My mind- how did dat come out?????)
Interviewer- ‘ Ok , u blog?’…
‘ehhh… yes sir’
'Which site u blog thru??’
( bachoo gaya tu, aur ban smart)…..
‘ Sir, indiatimes’….
‘ Ok, wat was d latest topic u blogged on’
( seniors wer right…interviewer ko charana ain’t dat easy, bt I had 2 come up wd smthn)
‘ Sir, d honda incident at gurgaon, where d workers wer beaten up’
(I suppose dis is wat ppl call presence f mind)
‘Ok, dats gud, how long u been doin dis??’…
( doin wat???? fooling interviewers….)
‘ Sir, just started wd it’ ..

I am pretty sure, it was this new found hobby of mine that got me through… so I felt I need 2 blog atleast once…but somehow, I couldn’t convince myself ‘Why shud I write’? Nd what would I get out f it???? Som comments from frens hum I can tel d same thing direct…so why take so much pain?? Thought my friends could answer my question…so I asked them…Here’s what some of them said:

--‘Its an outlet for all d creative energy within u’ (“ creative energy”?? bade bade funde huh!)
--‘Mast time pass hai’ ( Time pass hi karna hai, toh won’t I go nd play cricket or gossip, instead?)
--‘I blog, coz I just love doin it’( but why did you start in the first place?)

But the best reply came from a close friend who has been blogging for some time now…he thought long and hard bout it…den with an embarassed look said “ I dunno… bt u gave me a good topic 2 blog on”…
( ‘Thanx buddy, u wer a big help!!!’)…

Nd 2 seal it 4 me…..few days back, a friend of mine, askd me 2 post a comment on her blog….( cudn’t say no 2 her, esp. considering d fact dat she hardly gets any comments)
'cool,il do it, dat ain’t a big deal'…
I read her blog…she had written at length bout how she was BORED wd everythin….was pretty funny, the things she wrote….I thought long and hard what comment 2 write….must have taken me ages( coz. she askd ‘wats takn u so long’? … ‘poor net speed’ I said..) nd wat I finally wrote was total crap ( needless 2 say)….it was den dat I realized blogging is not my cup of tea ….yaar I am so conscious about wat ppl wil say… wat if dey write comments like ‘ it was crap’ or something like ‘ sharad, u b8r go nd play cricket…’

so, how come I be writing now???? Four reasons I could think of

…1) it’s raining outside, so can’t play cricket, nd studying wd exams so far away, I wud become d laughing stock f d hostel
2) Atleast it’s better dan killing time thinking all d crap dat I love to think bout…..
3) i won’t tell all my friends about d blog….dat way probability f getn bad comments( which can be a threat 2 my budding blogging career) goes down…
4)coz then if someday, someone comes up to me and asks why i blog..then i could give him those bade bade funde's ( it's an outlet for your creative energy...i just love doing it..bla bla bla )

Ain’t these ample reasons 2 write a blog???